


Bird

by ThatNeoNeonGrass, TheStayAgenda (ThatNeoNeonGrass)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Falling In Love, Futuristic, Healing, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mentioned Other K-pop Artist(s), Miscarriage, Mpreg, Muteness, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Recovery, kind of honestly idek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:15:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29255814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatNeoNeonGrass/pseuds/ThatNeoNeonGrass, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatNeoNeonGrass/pseuds/TheStayAgenda
Summary: Set myself free.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [felix_8felicis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/felix_8felicis/gifts).



> I meant to tag you when I first posted this but I forgot. My draft was about to get deleted. So I posted this in a rush. 
> 
> This isn't complete sorry everyone.

_I just want you to hold me._   
_Hold me softly._   
_I just want you to kiss me._   
_Kiss me lovingly._   
_I just want you to love me._   
_Love me passionately._

* * *

Had I known then, would I have stayed? Sometimes, I ponder this question when I am laying on the kitchen floor. The floor is a cold contrast to the almost burning warmth of my body. The floor is always cold.

I sit up after a while. My world spins, but I'm used to that. I have to get up and clean up the mess I made. I bloodied the floor again. I sigh. I feel exhausted. But I need to stand up. My body aches as I stand, but I hold back my discomfort. Once I stand and don't feel like collapsing again, I make my way to get the cleaning supplies. I get the bucket, bleach, and rags. I fill the bucket with water and bleach. I set the bucket on the floor and slowly kneel where the blood is. I dip one of the rags in the bucket and start to scrub at the floor. I don't know how long I scrub, but eventually, the floor is clean. I put everything back in its place.

I make my way to the bedroom. There you are passed out on the bed. Quietly, I change into clean clothes. I know when you get like this I shouldn't bother you. When I am l dressed I quietly make my way to the bed. Before I lay down next to you I remove your shoes and pull the blanket over you. Finally then, do I make my way to my side of the bed and tuck myself in. I always leave a space between us. I face you. Your sleeping face looks peaceful and lovely. You look harmless. How much I wish I could caress your face. How much I wish I could lay close to your warmth. But I can't do that.

I sigh out gently. I let my eyes close and hope sleep comes to me. Come it does. I don't know if I slept for a long time or not. But I was awoken by being shoved off the bed. My body hits the floor with a loud and painful thud. I sit up as quickly as I can. You are now sitting up on the bed looking at me, empty look. Breakfast. The only thing you say to me and I know what I have to do.

My body fills with pain as I stand, but I hold back my whimpers. I make my way to the kitchen to fulfill your request. Another day starts. Just like any other day. I am already tired as I make my way to the kitchen. You walk in, now dressed for work, you look around. Groceries, you say. Meaning you'll be back late today. I feel like I should be grateful, but I know you only do it so I won't leave this place. And I haven't left this place since we moved in all that time ago. I have forgotten what the sky looks like, what the seasons look like, and all the simple things most people don't forget.

I serve you breakfast and you eat. Then you get up and leave. I hear you lock the door. I sigh. I make my way to the bathroom. I clean the tub. When I finish I put the plug in the drain. I turn on the water and let the tub fill up. I undress. I step into the tub while it still fills up. I warm water sends shivers up my body. I can feel as my body relaxes. After a bit, I turn off the water. I lowered myself down so the water would cover most of my chest.

_This is a birdcage. I am a bird in a cage. This place isn't home it's a cage. And I put myself in it._

I sink my whole head underwater. I stay like that for a moment, before sitting up again. I deeply inhale. _If only I was brave enough to die._ I scrub myself and shampoo my hair. I wash off and I step out of the tub as it drains. I wrap myself up and leave for the bedroom. I change and dry off my hair. I make the bed and then lay on it. I look up at the ceiling. Plain and off white, due to age. I let my eyes close and sleep takes me one more time.

When I wake again, the sun is setting. I get out of bed and make my way into the kitchen once again. Time to make dinner, even if it might just be for myself. I make something simple. I eat and feel lonely. _Lonely. I've been lonely all this time._ I pick up my plate and wash it. I go and sit in the living room. The sun has fully set by now.

I sit there for a long time. Eventually, I hear you open the door. There are some shuffling sounds before you appear from the entrance hall. You look at me and then make your way to the kitchen with the grocery bags. I hear you put the things away. I keep on sitting on the sofa. You return after some time to the living room. **Sleep with me,** you say. My body tenses. I look at you and shake my head. _I don't want to sleep with you._ You make your way and I stand up, trying to move away from you.

Your hand grabbed my wrist and pull me. You start to pull me to the bedroom and I struggle against you. Your grip just tightens and you pull me harder. My legs give out and I fall hard on the floor. **You make this harder for yourself,** you growl out. Briefly, let go of my wrist to grab my upper arm, but I continue struggling against you. You slap me hard. My vision blurs for a moment. You take this moment to drag me into the bedroom. You throw me on the bed. You pull my pants and underwear off. Tears start to blur my vision. _I don't want to do this again._ Your hands caress my thighs. I try to not cry. You force my legs apart and I grip on to the sheets. Your hands touch me. **Your body is honest,** I hear you say. A scream is ripped out of me as pain erupts all over my body. You cover my mouth as I continue to cry out. My body falls still and I zone out.

At some point, you stop and leave the room for a moment. I lay there on the bed. I can feel the pain of the lower part of my body. You come back into the room. You move my body a bit and then throw a blanket over me. I'm still naked. You lay in bed as well. However, you still leave a space between us. I keep laying there and I eventually hear your breathing even out. I slowly move. I wince from the pain, but I proceed to get out of the bed. I make my way to the kitchen, leaning against the wall all the way.

Once in the kitchen, I serve myself a glass of water. I drink my water slowly while leaning my back against the counter. I stand there for a while. My eye land on a knife. _Kill you. I could kill you. But I can't. I still love you._ I sigh. _Do I really love you? Is it love? I just want to be free._

 **Why are you here?** Your sudden voice startles me and I drop my glass. I look at the broken glass and then back to you. You have a look of displeasure. I apologize and start to pick up the broken glass. **Go to the room.** I protest, telling you that I will clean up my mess. I put the broken pieces in my hand. You suddenly yank my arm and pull me to stand. You have that unreadable look on your face again. I know what that look means. I always end up in pain when you have that look.

You start to pull on my arm. I retaliate by slashing at you with the piece of glass I was still holding. I hold my breath when you let go of my arm. I step away from you. You hold your now bleeding arm close to your chest. You're glaring at me. My grip on the glass piece tightens. You come towards me again. You get close and hit me. I cry out but move. I need to get out of the kitchen. You try again to get a hold of my arm but I slash at you again. I try to move forward to the hallway. You throw a punch and I move my arm to cover my face. The punch pushes me against the counter, I drop the glass piece. I make a run for the living room. You grab me by my hair. I turn to hit you with my hand. I close my hands into fists and hit your arm. You cry out and let go.

I continue my way into the living room. I look around for anything to use against you. You come after me. I turn to look at you. Your panting and you have a knife in your hand. You charge at me. I grab your arm as you try to stab me. I take steps back, but soon my back hits the wall. I knee you on your hip. That makes me move back and I take that opportunity to hit you with the case of fake flowers. You drop the knife and hold your head, disoriented. I run for the door.

My hand rests on the handle and I unlock it. I pause. _Can_ _I_ _open the door?_ I hear you shout my name. _Yes._ I turn the handle and open the door. A burst of cold air hits my face. You can my name again. I run.

I run to the gate and throw it open. I keep running. I don't know where I'm going or where I am. But I just keep on running. I run even when my lungs begin to burn. I stop in an alleyway. I'm panting hard. Breathing hurts and I can hear my heartbeat in my ears. I lay down on the floor as I try to catch my breath. My vision gets black spots before going completely dark.

* * *

There's a voice calling to me. It sounded somewhere far. I opened my eyes a bit, a bright light hit me. I closed my eyes again. The voice sounded closer but it was not still clear. I feel a touch of warmth on my body. The voice comes again.

_"...cover you, okay?"_

It sounds like a male's voice. I again try to open my eyes a bit, but the light bothers me. Something warm is wrapped around my body. I feel my body being moved. Pain bursts throughout my body and a whimper leave my lips. The voice came again sounding frantic. There is a gentle touch on my back. It feels nice like a comfort. _Is this person comforting me?_ They move my body again, slowly this time. Something warm presses against my face and what feels like an arm is wrapped around my back. The person speaks again. 

_"... help you. Please, hold on."_

They are warm. Very warm.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I'm still working on it but I feel bad if I just leave it where I did. Please bare with me. Sorry I'm slow.

Sounds come to me first before anything. There is a constant beeping sound. I open my eyes a bit but close them again when the bright light hits my eyes. I keep them close for a moment. I try to open them again. I blink a couple of times letting my eyes adjust. There are a white ceiling and light fixtures. I turn my head to my right and see a heartbeat monitor and pale blue walls. 

"Are you awake?" A voice asked next to me. 

I turn my head to my left. There I come to face a young man. he has dark hair that covered his eyebrows. He had soft but defined facial features. He had an expression of worry. I have no idea who he is. Nor why he is worried about me. I look him over. He's wearing a black t-shirt and matching black jeans. 

"I am going to call the doctor, okay?" They ask.

I bod my head slightly. He straightens up and makes his way out the room door. I remain there on the bed. I look around the room again. To the right, there was a wide window. From where I was I could see the cloudy sky. I move to sit up but my right hand starts to throb in pain. I move my hand to the front of my face. My hand was bandaged. 

_Am_ _I_ _free now? Or did_ _I_ _just find a bigger cage?_

There is a knock on the door. Someone calls in if they can enter. I turn my head to the door. I open my mouth to reply but no sound comes out. I try again but nothing comes out. Tears fill my eyes. _Not this again._ There's another knock and someone stating that they are going to enter. In comes in the a tall man. He held a clipboard in on of his hands. He was also followed by the other man that had been here when I had woken up. 

"Hello, there," greets the taller man with a smile, that showed his dimple. 

I quickly wipe my tears and nod at him in reply.

"I am Dr. Kim," he introduces himself. "I am the doctor overseeing your recovery. Are you currently in any pain?" 

I shake my head. The doctor gives me a curious look.

"I am going to start with asking you the regular questions, okay?" Dr. Kim asks. 

I nod to him. _This is going to take a long time._

"Do you know where you are?" he asked. 

I nodded. The doctor hummed and glanced at the other man in the room. I, too looked at him for a bit. He was just standing a bit away from the bed. 

"Can you tell me where you are?" Dr. Kim asks in a gentle tone.

I shook my head. He nodded.

"Are you mute?" His tone is still gentle as he asks.

I nod again. 

"Did you know he was mute?" He asked, as he turned to address the other man.

"I... don't actually know him. I just brought him here," the other man replied.

Dr. Kim sighs but nods. He then pulls out his phone and does something on it. After a bit he walks closer to me and hands me the phone. The phone has notes opened.

"This will make it easier for us to communicate. You just type out your answers on there, okay?" the doctor explains. I take the phone from him and nod. 

"Okay. Can I get your full name?"

_Bang Chan_

"Your date of birth?"

_ October 3, 20XX_

"Your gender?"

_ Male _

And off we go with the questions. It seemed that the doctor needed to fill in my medical information. There is a moment of silence. Dr. Kim looks down at his clipboard and nods as he looks it over once again. 

"Mr. Bang it seems, through some examination we did, that you are a carrier. Did you know that?" Dr. Kim asks looking back up at me. 

_ Yes _

"Do you know you are expecting?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are mentions of blood and miscarriage towards the end of this part. If that bothers then you can skip all that is in italics. 
> 
> Also want to mention that I changed Chan's birth year to 20XX as I have chosen to make this fic be in like a futuristic time. Honestly, this is probably just a whole ass AU that I still haven't even named. But yeah I changed that. Other than that I have not changed anything else.

I look up at him. _Expecting?_ My breath was caught in my throat. I could feel my heartbeat pick up. Tears began to fill my eyes. A strangled sound leaves my lips. A hand suddenly rests on my back. I turn my head to see that it was the young man. He rubbed my back trying his best to comfort me. However, this kind gesture made my tears begin to roll down. I try my best to wipe them away as they roll down. I continue to try to get myself together despite all the things that run through my mind. Dr. Kim hands me some tissues. After some time my tears stopped and my breath evened out.

"I'm sorry, but I am going to have to ask some more questions. Which may be more uncomfortable," Dr. Kim speaks up gently.

I nod. He hands me his phone again. He takes a deep breath.

"Were you sexually assaulted?"

_Yes_

The doctor nods and gives a soft okay.

"Were you abused in any way other than sexually?"

_Yes_

He nods. There a pause before he speaks again.

"Okay. I'm sorry. However, those are all the questions I have. I will leave you now. I'll be back later to check up on you."

He takes back his phone and bows before making his way out of the room. There is a silence that follows his departure. It is also now that I realized that the other young man still had his hand on my back. I turn to face him. He is looking back at me. It seems that he too just notices that he has his hand on my back. He takes a step back away from me and gives me a small smile.

"I should introduce myself. My name is Lee Minho," the young man introduces himself. "I don't even know if you were even conscious or anything. But I was the one that found you and brought you to the hospital."

I nod my head at him. _Minho. What a nice name._

"Right, you're mute. Sorry. Would you like me to pull out my phone notes?" He asks.

I shake my head. A yawn escapes my lips. It makes my face flush as the other is still looking at me. He gives me a small smile.

"It's okay, you can sleep," he assures. I nod.

I lay myself back down again. I look at him as he sits down in one of the armchairs in the room. I sigh out and turn my head to look at the ceiling. I stare at it for a while before finally closing my eyes and letting sleep overtake me.

* * *

_I find myself in the bathroom floor. I_ _look_ _around. It's the bathroom at my parent's house. I remember because of the decorations hanging on_ _the_ _wall that my mother loved. They were these ceramic butterflies. They were painted in_ _blue_ _and black glaze. On the wall next to the mirror was a rectangular painting of two birds flying. I liked that painting. I always had._

_I sighed and slowly stood up. I_ _looked_ _at myself in the mirror_ _and_ _I_ _was surprised by my appearance. I looked like_ _I_ _did when_ _I_ _was eighteen. I looked completely tired. The heavy eye bags that showed on my face. My black hair a mess._

_Before_ _I_ _could do anything else, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I leaned on the sink. The pain came and went. Then_ _I_ _felt something warm run down my leg. I pulled back a bit from the sink to look at my legs. It's then_ _I_ _noticed_ _I_ _was wearing no pants. But there was also blood running down my leg. The pain increased, making me cry out. My hands gripped onto the sink._

_More blood runs down my legs and_ _I_ _can feel a puddle form around my feet. The pain continues and my legs begin to tremble. Tears are now rolling down my face. Cries of pain keep leaving my lips. My legs buckle and_ _I_ _fall to my knees._ _There's_ _a bit of a splash sound as my knees fall into the puddle of my blood._

_I know what's happening. But this a dream. I know_ _it's a_ _dream._ _Not a_ _dream. It's a nightmare. I know it is. I know._ _I know_ _. I know, because this is how_ _I_ _found out_ _I_ _was a carrier._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well sorry I took a while to update. Since my last update to this one I got a call back for a job I applied for. While the job has like a weird schedule to me, I am grateful because in these times it's hard to find jobs. So yeah my plan was to have it done the first week of this month but that went out the window. So yeah sorry that I will be taking longer. 
> 
> Anyway I hope you enjoy reading and this is a bit of a shorter update.

Someone is holding on to me as a finally begin to wake. They are also speaking to me. There's a gentle hand patting my head. I open my eyes. It was the young man from before.

"Are you awake now? You're okay. Everything's okay. It was just a nightmare. You're okay," they reassured gently.

I try to say something but only a grunt sound comes out. _I'm_ _okay._ _I'm_ _okay._ He looks down at me. His eyebrows pinched forward. _Concerned_ _. He's concerned._ He moves his hand to my face and wipes my tears. I closed my eyes and lean into his touch, before I could think twice. He stilled.

"Are you okay now?" He asks softly.

I keep my eyes closed as I nod. It's only then that he moves his hand from my face and beings to pull away, that I open my eyes again. _Sorry. That must have been uncomfortable._

"Sorry, I was holding onto you," he apologized. There's a pause. "Also... sorry for sticking around this long? I know I can leave. But I'm going to stay until you get discharged, okay?"

I nod at him. _Why are you being kind?_

The door opened then. We turned our heads to face the door. It was Dr. Kim holding his clipboard. He bowed and gave a small smile.

"Hello again. Sorry for not knocking there," he greets.

I nod to him and the other greets him back. Dr. Kim walked closer to the bed.

"I'm just back to get your vitals, okay? I have no additional questions for you. But can ask me questions, if you have any," he says as he pulls out his pen from his pocket.

I shook my head in reply. He nodded and started checking my vitals. He wrote down as he checked. He also turned the monitor and took of the pulse oximeter. After that he straightened up and put his pen back in place.

"Okay. I'm all done here. All you vitals are good. From what I can see it seems like you'll be able get discharged tomorrow morning. You are allowed to get up from the bed if you want. Also this is my last time checking on you as my shift ends soon. But there will be a nurse outside at the desk if you need anything, okay?" He says.

I nod. The doctor bows as he leaves the room. I sigh after the door closed. I turned to look at the other young man. He was standing near the armchair. He wasn't facing me, instead he faced the window. He looked out to the night view. I choose to sit up. My body doesn't hurt. I look at my bandaged hand.

 _I hope he never finds me. I hope he forgets about me._ _That's_ _all_ _I_ _can do isn't it? Just hope._

"Does you hand hurt?" he asks. 

I look up being pulled out of my thoughts. He is now facing me, his head slightly tilted. I shake my head as a reply. 

_Could you_ _save me?_

"Do you maybe want to walk around?" He asks.

I pause for a moment, before nodding. He walks over to me and helps me of the bed. He puts the slippers in front of my feet before I stand. I put my feet in them as I stand. He looks at me and I look back. I offer him a small smile and he smiles back. I take a step forward, by body trembles a bit. I feel slight pain on my lower back. I take another step and another until I get to the door. The young man stands a bit behind me. I put my hand on the door nob and turn. I pull the door open to reveal an empty hallway. I slowly step outside and look around. It was desolate. Even so I kept walking out. I walked a bit faster.

_I want to leave now. I cant_ _be_ _here to long. He could find me._ _And the_ _I'll_ _be trapped again._


End file.
